breathing in.

I'm not that far from reality.

One breath in;
cold air against tired and tattered lungs

Even this handwriting is tired...
disorganized, contrived.

Whether they understand me or not,
I am living for what is real for now,
not then..

not them.

There always seems to be a gentle discontent in the voice of my words.



But I have learned that the pain perceived is, more often than not,
a hidden joy.

For the joy set before Him...

Vision gives pain purpose.
Purpose gives pain vision.

Pain gives purpose perspective.

The qualifier of passion..
hardship takes the helm at the open seas of live yet lived.

And we, her passengers, become either the heroes of the storm
or the cowards of her wreckage.

Well, I for one, do not plan to go down with your ship.

Call me the self-absorbed one.
Yes, I took the life boat.
Yes, I took the life vest.

Yes. I preserved my life.

I have eyes beyond your taunting influence.

Justice beyond your lofty judgements.

Because I know.

I have tasted of the age to come,
the sweetness of a woman's courage,
the hurricane of her discontent...

I have seen the "worth it" of the worthless.

One breath in...
    starlit air in my punctured, heaving lungs.

I hurt for real.
Feel the pain of sincerity...

and consider these things worth it.

I'm not that far from reality.